Friends & Friendships

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We Quote

"The three categories of friendship are best, close, or casual friends. Obviously individual differences have to be taken into account. Someone who is especially cold and withdrawn may label as a close friend someone that a more outgoing person with an enormous capacity for intimacy might call a casual one. By and large, however, best, close, and casual friends are somewhat like the differences among dating, engagement, and marriage, with casual friend at the bottom of the scale, in terms of intimacy, and best friend at the top."

Jan Yager, Ph.D. in her book Friendshifts The Power of Friendship and How It Shapes Our Lives.

"Women develop more interpersonal skills than do men. From childhood on, men are oriented to seeing their world in terms of achievement, while women see their world in terms of relationships. Each has its advantages and disadvantages, but because women are more in touch with the emotions on which relationships are based and because they expect one day to be alone--that is, without an intimate partner--women usually develop better friendship-forming skills."

Rae Andre´, Ph.D., in her book Positive Solitude A Practical Program for Mastering Loneliness and Achieving Self-Fulfillment.

"The quality of friendship is best determined by how good we feel when we're around a person--be it spouse, family member or someone we've just met at a party. We  may initially use the filtering system, but through it we find those who make us feel as if we have come home. Those are the friendships that sing."

Rita Robinson, journalist, in her book The Friendship Book, The Art of Making and Keeping Friends.

"It is never too early to begin to create the best or close friendships, or even the causal friendships, that will help enrich your adult years. The basic behaviors so necessary to friendships--sharing, caring, showing an interest in someone else, honesty, and avoiding aggressive behavior--are first learned in the sandbox, as much as at school, camp, college, or at work."

Jan Yager, Ph.D. in her book Friendshifts The Power of Friendship and How It Shapes Our Lives.

"Part of growing up is accepting that each couple must make its own rules, mark off where the door closes on the marriage and where it opens to our friends, where we draw the lines of loyalty and secrecy, how to juggle time for us and time for outsiders, what to do if we feel jealous of a spouse's cross-sex friends or if we like only one member of a couple."

Letty Cottin Pogrebin in her book Among Friends, Who We Like, Why We Like Them, and What We Do With Them.

"For the most part, men's friendships revolve around activities while women's revolve around sharing."

Dr. Alan Loy McGinnis in his book The Friendship Factor.

"Acquaintances my be superficial, but they are also safe. Little is risked emotionally, or, by the same token, gained compared to the benefits (and risks) of genuine friendship. During the time it takes for an acquaintanceship to become a friendship you are determining, consciously or unconsciously, whether or not you want to move your relationship along to the next higher level of friend."

Jan Yager, Ph.D. in her book Friendshifts The Power of Friendship and How It Shapes Our Lives.

"Timing is important. You may feel drawn to someone at a time when he or she is involved in other activities or ventures, and you may feel you've been given the cold shoulder. Yet another time the person may be more ready to pursue development of a friendship with you."

Rita Robinson, journalist, in her book The Friendship Book, The Art of Making and Keeping Friends.

In my dissertation sample of urban single women between the ages of 20 and 40, each women had, on average, one best, four close, and eight casual friends.

Jan Yager, Ph.D. in her book Friendshifts The Power of Friendship and How It Shapes Our Lives.

"In any permanent relationship, there are going to be periods when your friend is not functioning well and is not able to give generously to the friendship. The test is whether you can stay and wait."

Dr. Alan Loy McGinnis in his book The Friendship Factor.

"In any language, the words that convey shared origins also suggest shared secrets and ties as binding as an oath. and along with the assumed loyalty and instinctual understanding is the presumption that a stranger who is one of our own kind is potentially a friend."

Letty Cottin Pogrebin in her book Among Friends, Who We Like, Why We Like Them, and What We Do With Them.

"Whether or not your friend's mate gets along with you (and, if you are married, with your spouse) is one of the best determinants of how marriage will impact on your preexisting friendships.

Jan Yager, Ph.D. in her book Friendshifts The Power of Friendship and How It Shapes Our Lives.